Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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