I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
