I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize