I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
