I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
