I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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