two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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