Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
