You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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