What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize