But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
