well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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