Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
