I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
