around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
