The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize