By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
