Me. At least after what I've been through.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
