i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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