He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
