when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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