we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You can't motorboat a personality
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
