all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
