Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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