I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
