I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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