What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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