just survived the first fart of the relationship.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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