Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.