When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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