Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
