batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
