Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
