Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
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She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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