I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wish they made helmets for livers.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
