those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
