Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize