just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
