so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.