im holly from the hills drunk
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
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As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
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I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!