i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...