I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize