you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
