theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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