Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize