I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
