Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
This is the high leading the old right now
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
