He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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