you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
