hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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