Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
