There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
