I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
