Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
