So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
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The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
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We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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