I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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