We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
