now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
